10 //The Best Parenting Tool for Less Power Struggles and More Cooperation

Does your child tune you out, ignore your requests, not do their chores, or make good choices? Then they will sometimes respond when you raise your voice or threaten to take something away? And you're in constant power struggles? 

In Episode 10, we're talking about the one parenting tool that actually breaks the cycle: Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, developed by Dr. Ross Greene.

This is the tool that stops recurring battles, builds real cooperation, and opens up your relationship with your child in ways you didn't expect.

What We Cover

• Why threatening screen time works for about four minutes and keeps failing long-term
• Plans A, B, and C; and why Plan B is the game-changer
• The three steps of Plan B so you can start using it this week
• What actually happens when parents first try this tool and why kids respond differently than expected
• The cooperation that builds over time when CPS becomes your go-to

The Three Steps of Plan B

1. Empathy — Understand your child's concern first. What's hard for them?
2. Define the Problem — Share your concern too. Both perspectives on the table.
3. Invitation — Brainstorm a solution that is realistic and works for both of you.

Resources

Dr. Ross Greene — Lives in the Balance The home of Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, including free tools and resources for parents.

• https://livesinthebalance.org/our-solution/
• Free CPS Paperwork & Tools: https://livesinthebalance.org/cps-materials-paperwork/
• The Explosive Child *Affiliate link
• Raising Human Beings *Affiliate link

Think: Kids — Collaborative Problem Solving (MGH) A related but distinct evidence-based approach developed at Massachusetts General Hospital.

• https://thinkkids.org/

Note Added After Recording

I briefly mentioned in the episode that there are two approaches that share very similar names. Here's the quick distinction:

• Collaborative & Proactive Solutions — Dr. Ross Greene's original model, housed at Lives in the Balance
• Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS/TK) — A related but distinct approach developed at Massachusetts General Hospital through the Think:Kids program, led by Dr. Stuart Ablon

Both are evidence-based and share the same core belief that kids need skills, not just consequences. In this episode, I focused on Dr. Greene's approach. For a full side-by-side comparison: https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/cps-vs-cps_edit2.pdf

This Week's Action Step

Think of the one fight that keeps happening in your house. Don't try to solve it yet, just ask yourself: "What do I think is hard about this situation for my child?" That question is the beginning of Plan B.

Work With Me

Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/ A practical resource to help you move from reactive to intentional. 

Purpose Parent Transformation Program Ready for personalized support? Book a discovery call to learn more. www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat