16 // Help Your Kids Build Frustration Tolerance to Become More Resilient

A lot of parents grew up without getting their emotional needs met. They may have grown up emotionally unsupported and left to work through hard feelings on their own, mostly because their parents, even if well-intentioned, had to work and were busy. Or they grew up in homes where feeling disappointed, sad, or mad simply wasn't allowed. And out of love, many parents are now overcorrecting. They're removing every uncomfortable moment from their child's life because watching their child struggle feels unbearable.

Here is the truth nobody is saying out loud: when we shield our kids from every hard moment, we are not protecting them. We are robbing them of one of the most important skills they will ever need: frustration tolerance. And tolerating frustration is needed to build resilience.

In this episode, Adriane shares a real story about wanting to rescue her son from disappointment, but she made a different choice. She illustrates a powerful example of what it looks like to stay present with your child in their hardest moments without fixing it for them.

Frustration tolerance is not something children are born with. It is a skill that must be practiced. Their brains are literally under construction, and their frontal lobe, the part responsible for regulating emotions and understanding cause and effect, are not fully developed until their mid-twenties. Our job as parents is not to remove the frustration. It is to be the scaffold while they learn to move through it.

This episode covers:

• Why so many well-intentioned parents have swung the pendulum too far, and what it is costing their kids
• What frustration tolerance actually is and why it is one of the most critical skills to build in early childhood
• The pickleball court story and what it taught both Adriane and her son about resilience, repair, and trying again
• How to recognize when you are managing your own discomfort instead of supporting your child through theirs
• Three practical things you can do this week to start building frustration tolerance in your child

Resources and Links Mentioned:

How to Become Your Child’s Emotion Coach: Episode 12 -  https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/emotioncoach/ 

Play with Purpose Parenting Class: This class is designed to help parents connect with their children through intentional, purposeful play while building the skills kids need to thrive. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/play-with-purpose/

The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program: Adriane's signature 7-step framework for parents who want to regulate themselves first so they can show up fully for their kids in the moments that matter most. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ 

Book a call with Adriane: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat